Camila F. is currently a senior at SYA Italy and a blogger for the Campus Reporter program. She comes to SYA from Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida.
It's weird. To sit here and finally acknowledge that 14 days from now, my time as an SYA student will be over. That I’ll sit on a plane and try to process the last nine months of my life on a 9-hour plane ride and it probably won’t suffice. That the people that I’ve lived with, loved, and learned from for the past 8 months will no longer be there, that the emerald green doors on via Cavour I’ve walked through every day will no longer be there waiting for me, and that this chapter of my life will end. It's a feeling every SYA student has known and will know, and yet, the knowledge of it is never the same as the actual feeling.
I’ve tried to piece together the words to describe what this experience has meant to me and the multiple ways it has changed every part of me, but always come to the conclusion that the proper words don’t quite exist. This may be one of the few things that hasn’t taken me by surprise here. I knew back in September when I met my host family, when I walked through Viterbo for the first time, when I met my friends and teachers... that leaving this place, leaving this new life I’ve built here, was going to hurt. This is why I decided early on that the very best way to encapsulate well, everything, is by using other people's words. Hence, my playlist. Every blog title I’ve written this year has been the title of a song that for some reason or other, whether it had to do with the content in my blog or not, reflected that particular moment of my time here. Some of them by my host family’s favorite singers Vasco Rossi and Ultimo, some by a particular boy band over which my host sisters and I first bonded, some that we sung in Italian class or that I’ve heard on the radio, or even songs that remind me of places and all that I did and was able to see, like Roma or Napoli.
So for this last blog of mine, I’ve decided a fitting song would be "Arrivederci Roma," as this last fieldwork Wednesday, we officially said goodbye to the most beautiful city on earth, and in less than two weeks I’ll be saying goodbye to Viterbo, my home for the last eight or so months. Now I don’t want to make my last blog terribly long, as goodbyes aren’t my favorite thing, and I can start feeling the knot form in my throat (prime indicator that I’m moments away from crying) so I’ll simply say– gratitude is all I feel at this moment.
That I got to see and live so much, that a lifelong dream was accomplished so early in my life, that I have a forever home here and made forever friends. For my newfound confidence, independence, empathy, passion for life, sense of purpose and new perspective.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I’ll never be the same.
The songs that defined my year:
- Campus Reporters
- SYA Italy